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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 15:26:08 GMT -5
“All my ex’s live in Texas!” Jack hollered out the open window of a rusty blue ford, purposefully off-key and with a put-on southern accent. The day was decent, not so perfect that he wanted to have it and Cassie all to himself, but not so bad that he felt like locking himself inside from the humidity and mosquitoes. So, on a spur-of-the-moment whim, he’d dragged his dad’s old tent out of the attic, thrown it and a few other back country essentials in his uncle’s truck and headed off to Xander’s house.
He tilted the wide brimmed cowboy hat to block the sun from his eyes and grinned at his reflection. All he was missing was a dog in the bed of the truck and Cassie waiting for him in the woods in nothing but a pair of cowboy boots. He laughed, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.
In hindsight, he probably should’ve run this by the troops instead of showing up at their houses and practically kidnapping them. But hell, they weren’t gonna spoil his fun. They were going camping with him and they were going to like it.
“And, therefore I reside in Tennessee.” Jack muttered quietly, pulling into Xander’s driveway and cutting the engine with a grin. He sauntered up to the porch, adjusted his ridiculously large belt buckle (also courtesy of his uncle) and pounded on Xander’s door.
“Xander Dean! You open this door right now, son!” Jack yelled, deepening his voice in his best impression of the cops. “You’re wanted on two accounts of larceny and fourteen of bestiality!”
He knocked again, so hard he could hear the picture frames rattle on the wall inside. “Get out here with your hands up or we’re comin’ in!”
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Post by Rose Karter on Jun 13, 2007 16:11:38 GMT -5
It was Carrie who answered the door, sporting one of Xander's shirts that was about two sizes too big for her and a pair of faded gray shorts that just peeked out from the hem of the shirt. Her curly hair was wild around her head as she yawned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "....Jack?" She blinked and squinted against the bright sunlight.
"What the hell're you doing here this early?"
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 16:32:16 GMT -5
Jack didn’t answer, didn’t have time to, he was so busy picking her up and hoisting her over his shoulder.
“I got your girlfriend and I’m holding her hostage until you give up and come out!” Jack hollered through the open door before carting Carrie towards his truck.
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Post by Rose Karter on Jun 13, 2007 16:36:11 GMT -5
Carrie squealed loudly, trying to squirm out of Jack's grip. "Jaaa~aack!!!" Her suprise dissolved into a fit of laughter. "Are you insane?! What is with you?!"
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 16:43:22 GMT -5
“Shudup, woman!” Jack barked in the same deep southern accent, dropping her in the truck sideways but careful that she wouldn’t hit her head or anything. “Your boyfriend’s a sick f**k and I’m puttin’ ‘im away and no tears or sexual advances from you ‘re gonna stop me, you hear?”
He grinned, straightening his hat.
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Post by Rose Karter on Jun 13, 2007 16:50:05 GMT -5
Carrie put on her best pleading look, thickening her accent to the point of Southern Bell. Her eyes twinkling impishly. "Oh, please don't put him away! He's innocent, ah know he is! He'd never rape a racoon! Well, except that one time when he had tequila, but not very often after that!"
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 17:00:24 GMT -5
“That boy’s got the devil in him!” Jack couldn’t help but smirk, just a little. “Ten cows and three sheep and a pig.” He put on hurt look, rubbing at his eyes.
“How’m I supposed to explain that to their mamas? You tell them that sicko’s innocent.”
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Post by Rose Karter on Jun 13, 2007 17:08:04 GMT -5
Carrie couldn't keep a straight face any longer. She burst out laughing, even snorting once or twice. "Jack," She gasped, "you are one sick f*ck, you know that?"
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 17:18:20 GMT -5
“I’m the sick f**k?!” Jack exploded, dangerously close to laughing himself. “If I want sex I just roll my wife over, dun matter much if she’s sleeping. I don’t go to my neighbor’s barn! Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods! I bet Mr. Dean can’t even tell me the first two of the Ten Commandments!” Oh, it was scary how easy this was to make up.
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Post by Rose Karter on Jun 13, 2007 17:22:59 GMT -5
Carrie clamped off her laughter, biting her lip to keep from bursting out again. The corners of her mouth twitched of their own accord. "Then tell me why, Sherrif Lupus, that you can only name one?"
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 17:39:43 GMT -5
“My knowledge of the bible is not in question here!” Jack snapped, wondering what the hell was taking Xander so long. “I’m not the one f**king farm animals!”
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Post by Rose Karter on Jun 13, 2007 17:46:21 GMT -5
"Oh really?" Carrie pouted, huffing her voice up to a stuffy tone. "Ya coulda fooled lil' ol' me."
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 22:17:54 GMT -5
“You listen here, woman!” Jack hollered, loud enough to bother the neighbors. That’s what Xander got for taking so long. “My wife may be a tad on the heavy side, but she’s a Christian god fearing woman and I won’t let you go around, comparin’ her to common livestock!”
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Post by Evlyn Montgomary on Jun 13, 2007 23:12:32 GMT -5
"Jack, what the hell're you doin here?" Xander gumbled, finally making his way out the front door, shirtless but wearing a good pair of jeans with the belt still undone. He rubbed his head and gave his friend a look of pure and utter haterd.
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 23:19:07 GMT -5
“About g**damned time you sick son of a b**ch!” Jack’s tone didn’t get any quieter. “You’re under arrest! Get in the truck!”
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Post by Evlyn Montgomary on Jun 13, 2007 23:24:34 GMT -5
"...." Xander blinked and shook his head, dropping his hand. "Jack, what the hell're you doing?"
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 23:28:54 GMT -5
“Get in the mother f**king truck right f**king now!” Jack yelled at the top of his lungs, making his previous shouts sound soft by comparison. Oh, if only he could be around when Xander had to explain this to his neighbors. “I don’t have time for your miscreant bulls**t!”
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Post by Evlyn Montgomary on Jun 13, 2007 23:31:14 GMT -5
Xander sighed. "...Just let me get Carrie and go inside, unless you wana exlain what you're doin screaming on my doorstep."
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Post by Jack Lupus on Jun 13, 2007 23:37:50 GMT -5
“I’m doing your ungrateful ass a favor.” Jack grinned and tipped his hat, dropping the accent. “We’re going camping, now get your fat ass in the truck before Cass wakes up and you ruin my fun.”
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Post by Evlyn Montgomary on Jun 13, 2007 23:41:24 GMT -5
"Lemme... go get dressed." Xander sighed again
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