Nothing Left To Lose

[Jack Lupus]

((ooc: started out as a fic, but eh, I'm lazy >>

Set after Cass leaves Xand for Jack and then leaves Jack when she finds out she’s preggers. ))


Jack sits in his car outside of Cassie’s new shit-hole apartment every spare second he isn’t working. He tells himself she has no business living somewhere so dangerous, especially with her condition, and it’s his job to protect her but the truth is he’s worried sick about her. Not so much about robberies or crime, but that she’s hurting herself somehow. For three whole days he sits and waits for some sign of life, for her to come out, for a light to turn on, but for three whole days: nothing. Talking to the owner of the apartments, he learns that she hasn’t paid for water or electricity, only rent. He leaves water and food outside her front door every evening when he goes to work but when he gets off his shift they haven’t been touched.

Three days of this and Jack decides she can’t last much longer, especially with the baby, so he goes to Xander because, frankly, he doesn’t know who else Cass’ll listen to. After knocking for several minutes, Jack lets himself in Xander’s front door.

“Xand, I-“ He stops, looking around. What he sees is worse than the whole green paint thing, much worse.

[Evlyn Montgomary]

The entryway is nearly clean, which was a phenomenon in and of itself, but it was just the beginning. The potted plants Xander had been growing on a table right inside the door are gone, simply missing from the area. They appear again in the form of broken pots surrounded by scattered dirt and fragile green shoots in a pile on the kitchen floor. Underneath the dirt is charred, charcoal like wood, and underneath that is a large black burn mark on the linoleum floor.

Anyone wondering about the meaning of this had only to walk into the next room, where Xander stood, wearing a pair of boxers and smeared in charcoal. He is completely concentrated on a wall, which had been painted white from the green he had left there after his last episode. The wall, like Xander, is smeared with charcoal, creating a picture. A huge picture, in the likeness of Cassiefs face. Itfs nearly perfect, a wall-drawn masterpiece. On other walls, scrawled over the green, are images of Jack, Carrie, Patrick, people hefs seen, people hefs imagined- everyone but himself. Between these are words and numbers, stories and nonsense, arranged in a way that only made sense to Xander himself. He seemed to have drawn on every conceivable surface; the walls, ceiling, floors; and then started on cabinets and the sofa before finally getting to his white wall.

His art piece.

He doesnft notice Jackfs entrance, doesnft turn around or move at all, simply staring at what he has done, wondering what he missed, what didnft feel quite right about it. Somethingc

[Jack Lupus]

“Xand…” Jack started again but words failed him. He moved closer, carefully stepping over the drawings that littered the floor. Clearing his throat, he said Xand’s name a little louder, tapping him on the shoulder. “Xand?”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

The tap surprised Xander, though he didn't jump or twitch. Instead, he tensed up, turning slowly towards the person behind him. He blinked slowly, processing, before nodding slightly. "Jack..."

He blinked again; something seemed wrong. What was it? Suddenly, it hit him. "How'd you get inside...?"

[Jack Lupus]

“The front door.” Jack’s expression hovered between pity and worry. “It was unlocked.”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

"Oh....." Xander nodded slightly, looking around uncomfortably. "So, did you...." she paused, thinking about what he was saying. "...Need something?"

[Jack Lupus]

“I-“ Jack’s breath hitched in his throat, he didn’t even know where to begin.

“Something’s wrong with Cass.” He finally blurted out. “She left and got her own apartment and she hasn’t left the damn place since she moved in and she doesn’t have any electricity or water and she won’t let me in or even fu**ing talk to me.” He took in a quick breath, waiting for Xander to reply.

[Evlyn Montgomary]

"...." Something clicked in Xander's head, understanding. "...Oh...."

[Jack Lupus]

“I don’t think she’s eating.” Jack stumbled on, not wanting to actually ask Xand to go check on her. “And I… I’m f**king worried.”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

Xander shrugged slightly, logic and rational thought shining through. "They have.... like..... hotlines for that. Y'know, pregnant women...."

[Jack Lupus]

“How’d you…?” Jack shoved a hand through his hair. “When have you ever known Cass to accept help, especially from strangers?” He shook his head.

“She’s in a bad way, Xander, and I’d go in and f**king drag her out myself if I thought she wouldn’t get hurt in the process.”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

"And so..." Xander walked stiffly over to the couch, sitting down. "You came to me?"

[Jack Lupus]

“Xand…” Jack sighed, following lamely after him. “Under the circumstances, I’m well aware that you’re the last person I should be asking for help from but you and I both know you’re the only one who even has a marginal chance of getting through to her.”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

"She left me." Xander growled. "What chance do I have? Or are you saying that the only other person crazy enough to stay in his apartment for weeks on end should have something in common with her?"

[Jack Lupus]

“I don’t know.” Jack snapped, lashing out in frustration. “I thought maybe you would give a shit that she’s hurting. Are you so f**king bitter you won’t even help her?”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

"What the hell do you want from me, Jack?" Xander exploded. "I'm a person, a real f**k**g person with his heart put through a f**k**g meat grinder! Ad you think you can just come into my goddamn house and expect me to grin and bear it, to go save the person who did this to me?!"

[Jack Lupus]

“So you’re willing to let her die?” Jack snorted, lips curling into a smirk before twisting into a snarl. “You f**king deserve worse than what she did to you.”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

"And you deserve to sit outside her door, listening until she cries herself to death." Xander growled. "But I'll talk to her, if only to convince her to come back to me...."

[Jack Lupus]

Jack’s hands curled into fists, his lips set in a hard line, but he managed to keep his temper in check.

“She’s in the apartments down the street from the bar.” He forced the words past clenched teeth. “Hers is the one with all of the shit in front of the door.”

[Evlyn Montgomary]

"Gonna let me go by myself?" Xander teased, smirking. He really had no time for Jack's shit, but even talking about Cassie was bringing him back into the land of the Sane